yea, this thing is dead.
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yea.
today was just an "ugh" day.
or to put it better
"i had a case of the mondays"
something like that
i was pretty apathetic.
didnt really care for anything.
anyone.
pretty unusal.
but hella gay.

im being all emo too.
listening to Dashboard Confessional
heh.
writing lyrics.
cutting my wrists.
blacking my eyes.
well, no, not the last two.
i dont know if you can really black you eyes?
maybe?

last weekend was pretty grand.
most of it at least.
the show on saturday was awesome.
that was probally one of the funnest days i have in a long time.
way overdue.

today in class
while i was supposedly watching a movie
i looked back on my life.
and then i looked ahead.
some things good.
some things bad.

i think i need to get a job.
or a better social life.
to keep myself occupied.
so i can stop complaining about how shitty my life is.
i dont really complain to others.
but i say it to myself alot.
not that life is that horrible now.
but there is definatly room for improvment.

i almost kinda want to move away
and just start over.
new life.
new friends.
not that im not grateful and thankful for the friends i have.
thats probally what holds me back.
but yea.. you know.
or maybe you dont.
maybe i dont even know.

i need to move on on alot of things.
some will be easy
others hard.
but i think it will be for the best.
maybe not, i could be all wrong.

damn, i could write a whole fucking CD of lyrics right now
if only i was able to transfer my thoughts and feelings on to paper.
yea.
lots of things going through my head.

yea.
i dont think theres much more to write about.
so i guess i'll just end it.
hopefully things will be looking up?
maybe not.

yeas.
i havent wrote in here in a long time.
im sorry to all my fellow readers.
like the whole 4-5 of you guys.
youre all probally crushed.
my bad.

anyways..
these past couple of weeks have treated me good.
i dont know really where to start
and i dont feel like explaining everything...

holloween was pretty good.
well, the weekend before was.
party at my cousins house.
pretty fun.
pretty crazy.
acually really crazy.
yup.

um. i havent gone to powerhouse in like 3 weeks.
that makes me sad.
and amandas probally sad as well.
but im going tomorrow.
fer sure.

i went over to her house saturday.
that was fun.
hopefully i will be seeing her more.
i <3 her x 32596879264537465897469875

OH OH.
projected grades
pretty accrate

Business Math- B-
U.S. History- D
English- A-
Guitar- A
Journalism- B
Computer Animation- B
G.P.A.= 3.00

yea, my first 3.0
crazy.
and sad at the same time.

ok, well..
today was good.
ditched after 3rd period and went and got some lunch.
pretty fun.
after school, clay picked me up
and we went to pick up yoshi
and smoked.
then i went back to clays and he sowed my pants.

um.. show this weekend.
3 day weekend as well.
gonna be sickkk.

alright, well that all i hve to write
bye

-mykle

i'm falling faster
and bleeding more then i have bled before.
i wanted to mean everything to you
but this isn't right
you keep coming back disassembled and i
keep losing this fight
the chains of death
are falling,
but my heart still bleeds
it longs for the day
when we will be as one
yesterday's gone
tomorrow's here
can't turn back now
i won't quit
is it over?
i am fine
thank you dearly
for your time.


that pretty much sums it up...
a bunch of Emery lyrics made into my feelings.
its beautiful. sad. but beautiful.

Emery- The Weakest

Point the gun (in your way)
Just pretend that it is time (it is time)
Say the word and I will fire
Sometimes I get so tired
Of their lies (it never stops)
It's worth more then my life {than my life)
Say the word and I will die

There's no peaceful passing of this new sickness
That I have introduced
To everyone around me saying
That I'm the cause of all their crime
And when they're drunk
I poured the wine

Lets leave this place
And say that we escaped
We'll say that there's no difference between right and wrong tonight
We'll leave no trace of plans that we have made
So they can't find us
And take what is ours

Point the gun (in your way)
Just pretend that it is time (it is time)
Say the word and I will fire

Take me far from
This less-than-perfect design
My contributions only go so far
Without monetary gain for my part

Lets leave this place
And say that we escaped
We'll say that there's no difference between right and wrong tonight
We'll leave no trace of plans that we have made
So they can't find us and take what is ours

Running with the scissors pointed at your heart from your hand
Is that your plan?
I don't have time for questions concerning your future position

Lets leave this place (if all that was this time)
And say that we escaped (decisions that were mine)
We'll say that there's no difference between right and wrong tonight
We'll leave no trace of plans that we have made
So they can't find us and take what is ours

Put on your coat (it's time to go it's time to go)
Dancing very close(with what I want)
Taking every inch too (its farthest point)
Losing precious time (is not a choice)
When im dealing with you ( I heard your voice)
Giving up the fight (with arms that bruise)
Delicatly shading (these grays and blues)
But I couldnt never stop (bleeding for you)
Endless Dedication
My Gift to you




yea, ive been listening to that song and the whole
The Question album by Emery.
also The Weak's End album
i feel them.
great lyrics.
great sounds.
i can just lay down and listen to it over and over.
download them?
kk

i didnt go to PH tonight...
and amanda wasnt online..
yea..
thats all i have to say today
bye

-mykle

dang dang dang..
i havent wrote in here in hella long.
its so sad that i cant take ten minutes out of my life
to write in this
even though im on myspace for like an hour and a half daily.
what a loser.

so things have been getting better.
winters finally comming and i love winter.
its great.

im still like "sick"
my throat had been really bugging me.
sick? screaming too much? smoking? i dont know.

i havent seen amanda<33 in like forever.
thats hella gay.
we've had a couple good talks
and got to know eachother even more.
gosh, i love talking to her.
i probally love seeing her more though

schools been getting slightly better.
grades are slipping.
that sucks.
but its been fun.
yea , that sounds bad
but i'd rather be having at good time at school
then being an A+ student.

ok, well nothing more to write,
i could write a whole recap of the past week/2 weeks
but i am le tired

leave me comments

bye
-mykle

today i was sick.
still am sick.
but i'll probally go to school tomorrow.

and i havent talked to amanda yet today.
and fell asleep last night when she was on AIM
wtf.

thats all.

-mykle

yea,
its all still been
a blur.
i pray for something good to happen everyday
but it never comes.
friends seem distant.
things seem dull.
im not depressed.
somethings just missing.
gotta find out what it is.
soon.

i miss amanda<33 too.
lots

nothings really happened thats worth mentioning.
hopefilly things will change next week.
we can only hope.

im so disappointed.
i missed out yesterday.
- washington game with amanda.
- gettin high with clay and yoshi and ren.

jeez, i make this post sound so bad.
wish there was happy stuff to write about.

i went solo last night and got drunk and really high.
i guess thats probally the high point of my week since powerhouse.

ok, nothing more to write.
there probally is but im too... lazy?

-mykle

hmmm
today was ok.
school was a blur.
i didnt even seem to care about anything.
and i had almost no energy.
lethargic
bad sleep maybe?
lets hope thats the only thing.

i left at lunch and slept til about 3:00
then i went to see my psychiatrist.
that was ok i guess.
we just talked about old stuff and
how things have been going now.
not too bad.
im happier now.
she said she'll start reading what i write in here
so that should be interesting

powerhouse was great last night.
met a lot of people thanks to valencia.
got to see amanda<33 for a little while.
less than i hoped.
for some reason it felt very comforting there.
"we're like a family"- marc wong
i liked it.
pretty strange for an agnostic.
but i guess its never too late to accept god.
i'll definatly be going there again.

i read a horoscope today.
it said:
"be prepared to lose something or someone you love."
that kinda freaked me out.
but ive never believed in those before and
i dont think i should start now.

-mykle

hello.
yea, i forgot update yesterday.
i was on the phone with a certain special someone<3.
i dont really remember what happened yesterday,
so will just skip to today.
pretty normal day as i always say.
nothing really exciting.

i cant wait for tomorrow.
powerhouse.
never been there but we'll see how it goes.
amanda<3, val, and clay will be there.
some of the coolest kids ever.
so thats good.

um. i think i might go back to see my psychiatrist.
just to check up on things and stuff.
sadly enough, i kinda miss going and spilling my heart out
to a person who i barely know and gets paid to listen to me.
except now i kinda know her more
yea.

ok, well, hopefully im doing something tonight.
not just sitting at home all night long.
mhmm.

i kinda realized today
that things have been going pretty good for me
in the past couple of weeks.

- MCR concert
- gotten pretty messed up a couple times
- new friends<3
- underoath & the bled concert<3
- armor for sleep concert
- no NOF's
- parties
- no depression shit

things have been looking good and i thank whoever is up there
watching after me and making things better.

ok, thats all for today.
bye

-mykle